Walking in the maze
I was blinded by the light
always trying to do right.
This became the reason for my Kryptonite
learning to decipher the difference between resilience and defiance
The time had come to embark on a new journey learning about self love,
I conducted a self appraisal in my soul,
Where finally I was able to say
NO MORE,
to all the people and things that were toxic to my soul.
I observed the people in my circle
bunch of cowards and narcissists.
I was kind and naive,
always forgiving,
taking the blame and apologizing
all while brushing it all under the carpet,
One day I began to feel sick,
from all the dirt and mold from years of secrets
that one day would be exposed.
I was the carpet they walked all over
smearing the mud, shit and dirt from their lives
I was their doormat
through transmutation all the toxicity they gave me
would be the ingredients used in my experiment
This became the formula to my success
Being underestimated was my greatest advantage,
I became ” The Alchemist”
For years I worked in silence,
perfecting the chemicals to create the remedy
Self love was needed to secure success in an uncertain future
I began to conduct tests
An experiment to achieve my goals for success
One evening I decided to meet a new stranger
Dinner and drinks,
I began to observe my subject,
we discuss his interests
He so into himself
To make matters worse
he’s a conservative,
and a trump supporter
I thought oh great just another “man boy narcissist”
He said” I was the prize”
Only because vanity consumed his eyes
On a superficial level
I knew how to hold it all together
If only he knew the real battle behind my story,
that was the old me,
He gets the new version
After all
he was” the experiment”
Shine in public
and hurt in silence
No one needs to know anything.
show no weakness,
reveal no secrets
feed his ego with my beauty.
Then ghost him if he does not align with my vibe or my purpose
no more being kind,
second chances and overlooking red flags!
be a cold Goddess
life is a one time game
Choose wisely…
Finally the results were in.
There will be no second date,
This was practice.
I learned to be more more selfish ,
villainess in tactic.
I live in survival,
hiding the all the struggles
The obstacles of a life ,
no one could handle,
Dealing the cards I was handed
trying to build something when I had nothing,
Living off a prayer
funding a dream from the cuts on my feet
walking on the broken glass of my shattered dreams.
hiding betrayal and pain,
behind a beautiful face and an eccentric presence.
Hoping the day would come to claim my victory.
In a cruel cut throat world,
In darkness I walked with an empty pockets
A hungry stomach,
and a broken heart,
All the while my enemies laughed.
the path of a lonley warrior.
no friends, family or allies.
Just demons chasing me,
Thank you for the pain,
it gave me my strength
I now look forward to better days.
Suddenly life would send me another test,
enter cat alien from the past,
Almost gave in,
I said “should I come by later?
he replied “why don’t you come by much later?”
Then I thought to myself “How about I come by “NEVER”
We had played the same charade,
nothing had changed I was forsaken day by day…
you don’t deserve to have the final taste of prestige,
Sit their and wait,
while I move on to better things!
Clearly he was not worthy,
not even a proper goodbye
for his stupid pathetic line.
He will spend the rest of his life ,
Playing with dozens of porotypes
losing them each
One by one,
off you go
hunting for more,
They are all temporary
they discard him once they see his end game.
Just like I did.
I passed the test
did not detour to that dead end.
There is nothing in the past but anger and pain,
No point in looking back
Forging ahead, onward to future.
the possibilities became limitless
With a new mindset.
Finally I mastered the deed
“be cruel to be kind”
Putting my worth above any temporary pleasures.
I began to work on myself,
Soul, body, and mental health,
When I began to give myself all the love,
No one had given me
I became a weapon.
I discovered the antidote,
I became more self aware.
I had all the tools to be indestructible,
I became something powerful,
I transformed into
The alchemist…
In Conclusion:
Self Worth is the special ingredient to a successful life.
Destroy the part of you that makes you think you need others.
you are your own greatest ally.
Empower yourself,
Educate yourself, knowledge is power.
Never stop evolving
Start loving yourself.
The time has come to put yourself first.
What changes will you make today to better your future?